Men

you're not all the same thats true but you have a lot of work to do for the baddest of your bad created the baddest of the fairer sex, it was he who made her this way.

now you see why you have to work so hard to let us kno u won't default on ur promises, that ur words are not spoken in vain... well the good ones do.

I've known men that make sure they are never the reason for your tears, but are always near to wipe them away.

I've heard alot of "i love you's" I stop believing in words, they are to men what the body is to women,

a means to manipulation

so much time passed

if silence is golden why do i still feel so poor?

months have passed, yes it been months, soon it will be years

numbness fades to shock, and shock to anger, it subsides in me i cant stay angry

pity is all i have because when u realize ur mistake i wont be there

my soul aches with dread, my head even my heart kno better but the soul remains with you

for now or forever for better or worse

each love letter heaven sent

but no soul, no love requited, every piece still remains with you

I want so much to don the costume again

of the superhero you and He adore

this time i'll b wonder woman and you'll wonder how i ever got over you

Healing Time... Oluwa Jo

All i want is justice but there's no court to sue for a broken heart, even when those promises are cosigned you can't get your money back.

Ladies want nothing more than for prince charming to come in and put the pieces together, but see that starts another tragedy

If we dont do our part we will never be free but realistically a man always has the power to bring a woman to her knees, even one as strong as me

But even grown men don't want to take the time to help a woman heal, but isnt that a mans job? or did women take it over in the equal rights movement

so these dudes yea they alright but they not a soulmate, do those even exist anymore? in this world where people are sold for less than a dime have we lost our souls?

I think i wish i never met u but since we'll never meet again what does it matter

you brought more pain than pleasure, something priceless manifested but then something priceless was lost; my classes didnt teach me about priceless gifts

and how does a superhero fall for a coward? in Gods house can coincidences exist?

Love to say

I would give anything for you to know that I dont think of you anymore that nothing, not even the music reminds me of you.

You are not worthy to occupy my thoughts much less my soul anymore. Because its not the destination its how you get there, and when you derailed the train I nearly died.

The truth is I do recall, and at the times when I'm most vulnerable, when I'm about to love again I try to keep it from ruining my future because you are the past.

More truth is I will never believe what you do, I will never say it was ok, I will never lose my faith because you lost yours.

I will always say that you are too scared to love, a coward hiding in the distance.

Keep my name out of your mouth until you realize your mistake, especially in prayer it would be sacrilegious for you to utter a prayer for me, Its up to me to keep my future safe in His view.

Sad eyes

If you could see them, wouldn't change a thing

I want to say "fuck u" but the Christ in me wont let me do anything but forgive you

I'm very weak from crying each Sunday, still wondering if this was really His doing or your own human error,

I dont even want to be superwoman anymore I want to be taken care of.

Lessons Learned

Got me thinking every man is a dirty liar because if you could break ur promise who couldnt?

A promise you made that I didn't even ask for.

Men are meant to lead, the good ones will lead you to elevated places you've never been.

Boys only lead to despair

What if I am too scared to leave myself open again?

I'm not I will never give up but I will fight to perserve the pure and good heart God blessed me with.

What if the deja vu is so severe i can't let his love in, after all he is so much like you

It is hard he's a Taurus too and Yoruba, ife mi were u really just practice?

Is it your fault or mine?

yours.

What you see is, a broken soul, thats worth healing, within a beauty that has the will to recover

who finds a virtuous woman? For her prize is far above rubies

After you paint yourself purple for someone can you ever really become a blank slate again?

only by the mercy and grace of God

No one but God may recognize you afterwards

he will have you appear at the right time and place!

When II

When everything u believed in has crumbled what remains is your Saviour, your spirit, your soul

When someone you trusted has forsaken you, you must look up, and readily forgive

when tides and currents beyond our control destroy the sand castles we've built either on land or in our heads, its telling how we relate to others, and to our Spirit.

When He comes to judge your conscience must be clear you have no control over theirs, it is your heart that will always be pure it does not matter how much they try to dirty it with shame, evil, or betrayal.

Whats sad but true, you cannot break me, only I can. What is hurtful is that you tried, in a most cowardly manner. Heartbroken but I refuse to be heartless.

Ladies, be careful where you put your heart, in whose hands, because it is fragile and worthy

You have to grow, i know this, but everything u needed was inside you, you turned away and abandoned one so pure, surely this cannot be good for the soul

i wish i could have seen the future, I wish I had been spared this pain, I thank God for carrying me through but wasnt he there along the way?

I thought I was focused (on Him) but I was just fooled, so many questions remain

its difficult to move, even more difficult to move on

miraculously i have, is only by the grace, a consolation prize for the one that is not perfect...

superwoman me

When

When you leave the girly desires for attention alone and only pay attention to the gentlemen

When you learn that doing what you want sometimes needs to take a backseat for the one you love

When you realize its best to say goodbye before you go to far

When lust has no place in your motives

When you figure out love is useless if you do not do right by it, that love is not real unless you make a CHOICE to acknowledge it, chase it, and work for it

and when you know if you're not making that choice its only a matter of time before love leaves...

Well thats when you'll have what few even know is possible 

Wearing Makeup

This morning while putting on my makeup it struck me how simple it was to cover up the pimples, a light and simple stroke of a brush just for a few seconds and the things we dont want to see disappear. So I think how nice it would be if we could erase all the marks on us. Now this is a little strange for me because even my not-so-close friends know that I, 1 dont wear makeup heavily or even often and 2 rather than hiding my mistakes I promote the lessons i've learned from them.

I know its not exactly a novel idea but wait what happens later...

So walking to the metro a little later, listening to lil Waynes "how to love" and it starts to rain, at first i'm annoyed b/c my face looks flawless and I left my makeup at home (so no mid day touchups) but then I started to remember how I leverage my non physical imperfections so maybe its not the worst thing that its raining. before I know it I'm looking straight up at the sky and its a beautiful rainy day!

half n half

sometimes i feel like its just too much
i know we have to be broken to ever be whole
and i know that all the terrible things that happen are only meant to make us stronger
but why is it so hard to remember the good and so easy to see the bad
why do i feel like throwing in the towel sometimes
i dont know if i'm doing this its Him or you

i know i'm meant for greatness but dont i need some things too?
why cant i focus like i used to
sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is so damn weak
why do i mourn what hasnt yet passed and let it keep me in this destitute place?
why cant my strength be let out why cant he lead me now

algunos necesito te ver o tu voz
yo se debio mas fuerte pero algo tocando que fuerza
se le tu?
no por que deces que qiero oir, haces lo claro


siento trieste a veces y feliz otras
es bastante a sentir mi loca
atascarse, no se que debio
siempre miedo que piensas o haces
no es justo pero entendo 
yo siempre entendo pero ahora necesito ayuda
escribio esperanzadamente sera ayuda 

Women

Well I really never thought i would find a flaw in the women's liberation movement, and maybe it was an unintended consequence but I think it has most of us confused on where we draw the line.

where should we draw the line? well i think its when it comes to dating, after all do we really want to take on the traditional "guy" role in relationships? When done properly, it's alot of work! I think its a mistake for girls to try and take on the male role, guys are programmed to know how to make a woman their wife and they are proud of this fact, why would we want to take that from them? I mean isn't it fair to say the notion of a girl trying/succeeding in making a man her husband has a negative connotation? it gives the implication of manipulation or that the guy must be weak. One could say this is just stigma but in most cases i think it gives us an accurate picture, and its not a pretty one. Not a good look for ladies, even the girls that would do that dont want to brag about it, like a guy would brag about getting a good woman to be his wife.

I dont think theres any magic formula, theres no set of rules to follow, all i'm saying is as ladies if we dont want to feel like we are doing all the work in a relationship we have to allow them to do some, but thats the easy part, the hard part is knowing that if he doesn't step up you would be better off walking away, and then actually leaving so you can find one that will make you truly happy.

He will do everything you want without you having to ask, or plan all the dates, he wont have the expectation of sex every time he sees you or ever harm you. Even if you've never experienced this, if you know your worth and love yourself then you should know you can have a guy that is this perfect for you. but this isnt meant to be some build up for self loathing girls, its a wake up call, we have to stop thinking gender equality applies to relationships.

believe there is someone that can make you smile just at the thought of them, make you glow in a way that even strangers can see, and fill you with peace just knowing they have your back. He does all this and constantly lets you know you are loved and beautiful. God made someone for you how could he not hold these traits.

Its hard, but i believe he's worth waiting for, i've never settled, not going to start now.

peace

you gotta open your eyes

I gotta open your eyes, as so many have done for me

am i the only one that thinks its best to develop domestic business and oil companies rather than feeling good about foreign companies providing a "fair share" of their profits to a few lucky government officials in Africa.

do you know they dont teach us a damn thing about the developing world in high school where did those sections of World history go? I understand though, its so clear that what their generations allowed to happen is so obviously painfully wrong. I wouldnt want people studying my most shameful moments for decades to come.

How could we ever have thought it was remotely ok or right or justified that people should be invaded, removed from their own land and then forced to work for free to feed and make rich those arrogant capitalists. how? no really how? how does a group of educated men come to think that colonialism is a path worth pursuing?

Do you think they put themselves in the natives shoes for even an instant? do you think they twisted the words of whatever Holy book was ruling at the time to give them a manifest destiny? Do you think they needed any justification at all? It must have been temporary insanity, but no excuses.

If we were forced to leave our homes and families today, allowed to take nothing with us, while those that forced us out took our possessions, sold them in markets and kept every bit of the revenue for themselves until there was not a single thing left in the house, how many of us would survive beyond a months time? But if you did survive and found a second chance, would you have the strength to fight those that displaced you and your neighbors?

you dont know that billions live on less than $2 a day, ok you're thinking, some days I dont spend any money, or the food there must be cheaper. but even if it was 1920's prices and bread cost a nickel and meat cost $2 so each day you dont have enough for food, much less clothes, shoes, and feeding family members. This is everyday and they dont have shelters they may even be terrorized by war.

Kids should never have to fear for their lives or bury their parents before they even have the chance to become parents themselves. Parents shouldn't have to expect that they will bury even one of their children, and from preventable diseases and conditions. This is not how God intended for things to be, it can't be. We messed this up its the least we can do to sacrifice our generation for change. Change to better the world not the change of our ancestors, obsessed with gold and conquests. Right now the world needs Hope and Change.

 I think even the biggest problems of the world boil down to the biggest problems of the individual, people just want to be loved, they want to be respected, that means listened to and educated.

'via Blog this'

Without A Leader

Without a leader we're aimless
without a leader no country or individual can achieve anything noteworthy

without a leader you can only pretend to be happy for a short while...
and its only after you realize how necessary a leader is

i hope you don't hear my thoughts in every word
cause its not meant for you to know that
when you've found the one that makes you break your old bad habits,
hold onto it, because you can never count on that second  chance
see only the good leaders are fickle, they deserve a good crowd

so give them there props and let them fill their heads
their silly desires until the leader is ready to lead
anxiety lives breathless and stunted
we cannot live without a leader

leader forgive us do not forsake us
our lives are changed
forever altered
there is no turning back
Lord show us the light

cause right now i'm so frustrated
im caught in limbo
Lord this is no way to live
you've done amazing things
I want to do them too
but the ocean is big and the time is long
can this be the way?

some miracles turned away
bonds now broken
and the leader is in exile
Lord show us the way!

Future

I can see the future

I see it just needs time

I see everything glittering and gold

Even in the Sahara there will be water

Money will not be the focus

All people will be proud

The bombs will be diffused

and Peace will come in the native's way

Bodies will be buried only after old age

no child will be abandoned or left hungry

we must be patient with ourselves

this race will not be won if we try to run

we must stand up before we can walk

look east across the ocean dont you see it?

the future

look west, its there in the earthquake ruble

the future

the future needs us more than we need now
so fight for yourselves dont lay in wait
some wil have to perish but thats what we do to ourselves
all in the name of the future
greed may be worth killing for but the future is worth dying for
the greatest lesson we can learn is not to wait until we've been pushed to far
lets make it clear
lets not wait for the time to come but make it appear

can you see the future

look east across the ocean dont you see it?

the future

look west, its there in the earthquake ruble

the future

we should all see our future

'via Blog this'

Baba

the air I breath
a day away feels like i'm suffocating
in this private love affair
started by three but now there's only me and Him
this is the stuff writers write about
that producers make movies about
the stuff that Shakespeare dressed in drag for
That Juliet died for
and Joseph stuck around for

What Adam took Eve for
but wasnt that trouble all part of the plan?
or did we change His plans?
Did He know that our nature would never allow something to stay clean forever?
As much as we try and chase that glory of perfection, a task we can never achieve
but then isnt that the true basis of faith and love, we still try
because we dont do it to be perfect, no theres no fun in that
we do it to grow, to be the best we can be, to make you a proud Father

E se Baba
Moni Ife Oluwa

paralyzed

paralyzed in fear
or is it anger?
just unable to do
what i have to do
paralyzed.
praying for the cure

we were up so high
now you're getting high
and you let me fall

a punishment i guess i deserve
your free now so fly away
just tell me first its not true
better yet tell me the whole truth

Everything

Let me say everything's fine,

yes he's doing well 

These rose colored glasses aren't getting rusty and the spilled milk just needs to be mopped up

yea i'm mad but its ok
y do you get to be rude?
because your scared too?
but boo its your fault too
o u quit? well i resign too
no please dont go
i need you here or u want me there?

look all will end well

it will, ok?

no dont get mad at me

no don't hang up the call

what now when i cant even hate u
i'm not allowed to be angry, to scream and punch and fight
its all i kno, is love, its my downfall i've been told, i'll love u and b mad at myself
its so unhealthy i kno, can you cook something better for me? 

My lips sealed by your hand 

i can hear better with this blindfold on but am still getting nowhere

circles surround me

where is your saving grace now?
I used to be so fast
but since you took the wind out of me i move so slow 

this is supposed to be a message of hope but where's Obama now?

For those that will die tonight, I will fight

whether one or one million we all bleed right?

I'll carry on this charade for the future

It holds things we can't imagine possible now

but not only possible they are what's real
i'm big picture always seein what can be 

i used to be fearless
now i'm scared to death of you
so please understand when i say nothing
I guess you made me more human

someone asked me today

i didn't know what to say

baby please put the weapons away
i cant fight this, i wont fight you, you've won
i cant breath when u... when u...
make me powerless

The M Factor:

'via Blog this'

Keep It Safe

DVR paused on this prerecorded destiny
An ocean away
thats where you'll stay
a safe distance apart
never thought we'd depart

I'd rather touch you than write to you
if i could touch you would these words even be written?
Is it just this carnal knowledge that makes the scene so grim?
so what's my role now?
who's the director and where is my cue?
How am I supposed to continue when you left me without a clue

I know the pain makes it easy to forget
but the pleasure can be so much more than what you remember

Dont listen to me only listen to him
Just breath and dive in, like I teach you to swim

But my prince is gone
and fairytales only live in our imagination, my imagination
how i feel i can't say, no i wont say again til its safe
what you'll do with those words is not clear so I keep it prayer
asking again where is your faith?
must you see to believe?
you don't want to believe so is this a self fulfilling prophesy?

I'd rather spend a 1000 fractured nights sleep with you than 1 restful night without you
its true but you know what, its cool i'm giving up my hope too
Sorry Lord we'll have to find another man cause this one, well "he's just not that into You"

No Home

i dont know how to start

maybe because i dont know how to lead

there's only One I can follow

what He's given me I cherish

I have this cross to bear though

a human-o-deficiency, You are the cure

I forgot for an instant, just one instant, the favor you showed 

now I have no home, now i'm a beggar, I beg for mercy daily

What happens when the soul goes from love to limbo?

does anybody know where to find my love?

Is He in these pages? these prayers? these Songs of Solomon?

I follow the One who is going to lead me to the one he made for me

why?

because I need to fulfill this destiny

theres a billion people counting on me

When will this game of limbo stop?

I have to yell louder cause your getting farther 

Its getting colder now its nearly December 

I've failed before I can't face defeat for my one

these words dont do anything why waste the time 

His words are the only ones that matter

I can't be awake this must be a nightmare

a day not waking next to you is a false positive

Lord take me out of the game 

I can commit it all to you just please take away this pain

I've often wondered how you intertwine the two, pain and love

they live too close together for our flesh to know the difference

our nature or our nurture its nothing like Your garden of Eden

Place me there and these tears will stop flowing 

Place me there with You and give this story a happy ending

Place me in my home

Silence

Thought I had blocked every remnant of you, how did you get through?
Only God knows

No, these lips you can no longer see or touch, because there is nothing left to say, remember?

Privileged to read the words, to just have a glimpse of something you once brought to life but will never know again, justice for the things you havent done.

I'm tempted to laugh but we both know thats not me

and why should it be any easier for me?


Remember there are those that know the value of a virtuous woman, and recognize the one made for them whatsoever her color. Those are the ones that fight and pay any price because it will be far less than her value.

Thank God I know my worth, its just tragic that you don't.

Lupe Remix

Inspiration from Lupe Fiasco’s Lasers album

Words I Shouldn’t Have Said

Wish I hadn’t said ‘hello’

Should have never said ‘I love you’

Should have waited til we said ‘I do’

Words you should have never said or say again

Say them again

Often the loudest words are the ones we should have never said

Do they ring in your head like they do in mine?

The ones you can’t take back no matter how hard you try

And even though I cant get you Out Of My Head, I’m Letting Go

Cause I Don’t Wanna Care Right Now

And its ok cause The Show Goes On, Until I Get There

See don’t pity me because im Coming Up, from the State Run Radio you’ll be able to hear my song

I guess they were Beautiful Lasers that had put your sights on me, guiding the bullet where it would hurt the most

The Words I Never Said don’t exist, only ones that should have been said sooner or later

Why couldn’t you Break The Chain since I spake those words?

And I will Never Forget You even though its All Black Everything around me now, its all darkness without its light.

Wish I hadn’t said ‘hello’

Should have never said ‘I love you’

Should have waited til we said ‘I do’

Words you should have never said or say again

Say them again

Often the loudest words are the ones we should have never said

Do they ring in your head like they do in mine?

The ones I would never take back no matter how hard you make me try

Please Don't Ask

Its been two days and the mark is still there

A new reminder of defeat seems to reveal itself each day

I want to forgive you before you forgive yourself

A dozen missed moments to share, a wealth of insights the world will never know

And its just not fair, and yes I know what you’ll say

But my dear its only because you’ve gone astray

No, I don’t write to move you, stay where you are, because that’s where you deserve to be

Your leading down a path I can no longer follow

And Lord knows I’ve been made hollow

I will forgive you before you forgive yourself

No, I don’t claim to know what the Lord knows

I pray for it to come in drips

Gradually pushing me because I can’t take the shoving

Maybe I’ve forgiven you…

No title… yet

Devastated but I have to provide hope

Abandoned but I can’t say that I need comfort

Silenced but I have to be a voice

Forsaken trying to keep the faith

Because what is right is not only easy

But what is easy is not always right either

What’s hard is not always wrong

And what’s wrong is often the easy way out

Always afraid of when I wont be able to hold back the tears

Because now my thoughts have control,

Please make this stop

Going outside tugs at the wounds and the bleeding becomes more likely with every step

Every child and kiss a reminder of what should could have been

Makes relapse all the more possible

What’s the alternative to stay away from it all?

Sometimes the humiliation is too much, other times it’s the shame or stupidity, the mistrust or doubt, and still other times it’s the anger that’s just too painful a reminder of how you made me a fool

Because what is right is not always easy

But what is easy is not always right either

What’s hard is not always wrong

And what’s wrong is often the easy way out

My tendency for abuse has only manifested under the cover of night but no less despairing than those brought out in the light…

This one's for you

Peace as the fountain flows
Calmness in d midst of chaos
Living in simplicity
Forgetting the worries
Making every moment count
Making ever minute worthwhile
Peace, like the breeze of freshness
Is what I found with you
And if this moment extinct
Life isn't worth living
For this is the superlative
In thee, all is made complete
Without which nothing else matters
So stay and make the pieces complete
A puzzle, only you can fix
And let the calmness stay forever
With you, peace, simplicity, and truth
Sweet, gentle Sweet peace.

By Kennisblegad 6/13/11 9:58pm

So what

So what if you’re the only one that believes, beliefs and faith need mass support to be effective for the ruling class… don’t they?

Or is it enough to make one living sacrifice?

So what if I never think I’m worth it

So what if I stay mad because that’s easier than staying honest with myself

So what if I leave here and never come back

So what will you do now?

So what if these words never get said they wont change a thing anyway

So what if these punches keep coming, I will always be able to block

So what if the fruit doesn’t get harvest, the seed can never grow outside the walls

So what if stay down because you let me fall?

So what if survival of the fittest means the world will never know success

So what if my survival is locked away, no code or key to have

I’m just one, the one, your just one, so, so what?