paralyzed

paralyzed in fear
or is it anger?
just unable to do
what i have to do
paralyzed.
praying for the cure

we were up so high
now you're getting high
and you let me fall

a punishment i guess i deserve
your free now so fly away
just tell me first its not true
better yet tell me the whole truth

Everything

Let me say everything's fine,

yes he's doing well 

These rose colored glasses aren't getting rusty and the spilled milk just needs to be mopped up

yea i'm mad but its ok
y do you get to be rude?
because your scared too?
but boo its your fault too
o u quit? well i resign too
no please dont go
i need you here or u want me there?

look all will end well

it will, ok?

no dont get mad at me

no don't hang up the call

what now when i cant even hate u
i'm not allowed to be angry, to scream and punch and fight
its all i kno, is love, its my downfall i've been told, i'll love u and b mad at myself
its so unhealthy i kno, can you cook something better for me? 

My lips sealed by your hand 

i can hear better with this blindfold on but am still getting nowhere

circles surround me

where is your saving grace now?
I used to be so fast
but since you took the wind out of me i move so slow 

this is supposed to be a message of hope but where's Obama now?

For those that will die tonight, I will fight

whether one or one million we all bleed right?

I'll carry on this charade for the future

It holds things we can't imagine possible now

but not only possible they are what's real
i'm big picture always seein what can be 

i used to be fearless
now i'm scared to death of you
so please understand when i say nothing
I guess you made me more human

someone asked me today

i didn't know what to say

baby please put the weapons away
i cant fight this, i wont fight you, you've won
i cant breath when u... when u...
make me powerless

The M Factor:

'via Blog this'

Keep It Safe

DVR paused on this prerecorded destiny
An ocean away
thats where you'll stay
a safe distance apart
never thought we'd depart

I'd rather touch you than write to you
if i could touch you would these words even be written?
Is it just this carnal knowledge that makes the scene so grim?
so what's my role now?
who's the director and where is my cue?
How am I supposed to continue when you left me without a clue

I know the pain makes it easy to forget
but the pleasure can be so much more than what you remember

Dont listen to me only listen to him
Just breath and dive in, like I teach you to swim

But my prince is gone
and fairytales only live in our imagination, my imagination
how i feel i can't say, no i wont say again til its safe
what you'll do with those words is not clear so I keep it prayer
asking again where is your faith?
must you see to believe?
you don't want to believe so is this a self fulfilling prophesy?

I'd rather spend a 1000 fractured nights sleep with you than 1 restful night without you
its true but you know what, its cool i'm giving up my hope too
Sorry Lord we'll have to find another man cause this one, well "he's just not that into You"

No Home

i dont know how to start

maybe because i dont know how to lead

there's only One I can follow

what He's given me I cherish

I have this cross to bear though

a human-o-deficiency, You are the cure

I forgot for an instant, just one instant, the favor you showed 

now I have no home, now i'm a beggar, I beg for mercy daily

What happens when the soul goes from love to limbo?

does anybody know where to find my love?

Is He in these pages? these prayers? these Songs of Solomon?

I follow the One who is going to lead me to the one he made for me

why?

because I need to fulfill this destiny

theres a billion people counting on me

When will this game of limbo stop?

I have to yell louder cause your getting farther 

Its getting colder now its nearly December 

I've failed before I can't face defeat for my one

these words dont do anything why waste the time 

His words are the only ones that matter

I can't be awake this must be a nightmare

a day not waking next to you is a false positive

Lord take me out of the game 

I can commit it all to you just please take away this pain

I've often wondered how you intertwine the two, pain and love

they live too close together for our flesh to know the difference

our nature or our nurture its nothing like Your garden of Eden

Place me there and these tears will stop flowing 

Place me there with You and give this story a happy ending

Place me in my home

Silence

Thought I had blocked every remnant of you, how did you get through?
Only God knows

No, these lips you can no longer see or touch, because there is nothing left to say, remember?

Privileged to read the words, to just have a glimpse of something you once brought to life but will never know again, justice for the things you havent done.

I'm tempted to laugh but we both know thats not me

and why should it be any easier for me?


Remember there are those that know the value of a virtuous woman, and recognize the one made for them whatsoever her color. Those are the ones that fight and pay any price because it will be far less than her value.

Thank God I know my worth, its just tragic that you don't.

Lupe Remix

Inspiration from Lupe Fiasco’s Lasers album

Words I Shouldn’t Have Said

Wish I hadn’t said ‘hello’

Should have never said ‘I love you’

Should have waited til we said ‘I do’

Words you should have never said or say again

Say them again

Often the loudest words are the ones we should have never said

Do they ring in your head like they do in mine?

The ones you can’t take back no matter how hard you try

And even though I cant get you Out Of My Head, I’m Letting Go

Cause I Don’t Wanna Care Right Now

And its ok cause The Show Goes On, Until I Get There

See don’t pity me because im Coming Up, from the State Run Radio you’ll be able to hear my song

I guess they were Beautiful Lasers that had put your sights on me, guiding the bullet where it would hurt the most

The Words I Never Said don’t exist, only ones that should have been said sooner or later

Why couldn’t you Break The Chain since I spake those words?

And I will Never Forget You even though its All Black Everything around me now, its all darkness without its light.

Wish I hadn’t said ‘hello’

Should have never said ‘I love you’

Should have waited til we said ‘I do’

Words you should have never said or say again

Say them again

Often the loudest words are the ones we should have never said

Do they ring in your head like they do in mine?

The ones I would never take back no matter how hard you make me try

Please Don't Ask

Its been two days and the mark is still there

A new reminder of defeat seems to reveal itself each day

I want to forgive you before you forgive yourself

A dozen missed moments to share, a wealth of insights the world will never know

And its just not fair, and yes I know what you’ll say

But my dear its only because you’ve gone astray

No, I don’t write to move you, stay where you are, because that’s where you deserve to be

Your leading down a path I can no longer follow

And Lord knows I’ve been made hollow

I will forgive you before you forgive yourself

No, I don’t claim to know what the Lord knows

I pray for it to come in drips

Gradually pushing me because I can’t take the shoving

Maybe I’ve forgiven you…

No title… yet

Devastated but I have to provide hope

Abandoned but I can’t say that I need comfort

Silenced but I have to be a voice

Forsaken trying to keep the faith

Because what is right is not only easy

But what is easy is not always right either

What’s hard is not always wrong

And what’s wrong is often the easy way out

Always afraid of when I wont be able to hold back the tears

Because now my thoughts have control,

Please make this stop

Going outside tugs at the wounds and the bleeding becomes more likely with every step

Every child and kiss a reminder of what should could have been

Makes relapse all the more possible

What’s the alternative to stay away from it all?

Sometimes the humiliation is too much, other times it’s the shame or stupidity, the mistrust or doubt, and still other times it’s the anger that’s just too painful a reminder of how you made me a fool

Because what is right is not always easy

But what is easy is not always right either

What’s hard is not always wrong

And what’s wrong is often the easy way out

My tendency for abuse has only manifested under the cover of night but no less despairing than those brought out in the light…

This one's for you

Peace as the fountain flows
Calmness in d midst of chaos
Living in simplicity
Forgetting the worries
Making every moment count
Making ever minute worthwhile
Peace, like the breeze of freshness
Is what I found with you
And if this moment extinct
Life isn't worth living
For this is the superlative
In thee, all is made complete
Without which nothing else matters
So stay and make the pieces complete
A puzzle, only you can fix
And let the calmness stay forever
With you, peace, simplicity, and truth
Sweet, gentle Sweet peace.

By Kennisblegad 6/13/11 9:58pm

So what

So what if you’re the only one that believes, beliefs and faith need mass support to be effective for the ruling class… don’t they?

Or is it enough to make one living sacrifice?

So what if I never think I’m worth it

So what if I stay mad because that’s easier than staying honest with myself

So what if I leave here and never come back

So what will you do now?

So what if these words never get said they wont change a thing anyway

So what if these punches keep coming, I will always be able to block

So what if the fruit doesn’t get harvest, the seed can never grow outside the walls

So what if stay down because you let me fall?

So what if survival of the fittest means the world will never know success

So what if my survival is locked away, no code or key to have

I’m just one, the one, your just one, so, so what?