Few know this bit about my past but I am ready to share now. As time in a village gives lots of time to think.
but a man of God in my beloved Nigeria once said "she has a good pure heart and if it is deceived it will no longer be pure." This was in 2011.
That friend never deceived me although those words left him scared to stay in a position where he potentially could.
Well my heart turned to my work since then and away from anyone or anything that would deceive me, or so I thought.
A heart, one that strangers can see, and is open to the people God loves most, is a burden as much as it is a blessing. My life would be dull and meaningless without my heart for orphans and impoverished people. Without knowledge of the injustice and my will to fight it with my life, my heart would not even belong with me.
This heart brings joys beyond compare, it bears witness to hope in front of the hopeless, it loves the rejected and forgotten and finds comfort in the giggles of children. Pure in intention good in action.
But with all of that comes some discomfort
It's weighed down by miscommunication, by deep corrupt eyes.
It's easily deceived and numb to hurt
It's burden is to remain light in darkness
To keep warmth in the absence of heat
To see the demands of billions falling on the shoulders of just a few thousand
And ache felt for those left behind and those already gone...
It's a burden just narrowly outweighed by the elation.
The heart celebrated for a day and then silenced for decades
It beats against the wind, weary and prejudged
It's harder to understand than the "latest and greatest" gadget guide
Showing strength in front of malnourished, neglected children, composure in front of the ignorant....
Patience at the end of the day for the little ones to come and take what love they can
Its solidarity with a small network spread wide across the globe only virtually sending hugs and kisses not often enough providing a shoulder to lean on.
And so at night it's tears fall unheard and unseen, invisible
It's hopelessly hopeful
Unafraid when it should be chained up
Seeking pain elsewhere not where it matters not where it's unknown
It can't chase all the dreams if it had 3 lifetimes but with a helper well... maybe
But for now this heart works alone
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