Well I guess its that time of year... or life when people get engaged to marry. I vaguely remember this from years past when i was often staggering from bar to bar each holiday season, being estranged from my family and the newly hired runt in a Fortune 500 investment bank didn't make for the happiest of holiday seasons.... Anyway in 2011 I was reconciled with family and back in church, I was also 25 with still no desire to settle down. frankly none of this has crossed my mind until i sat down to write this bit of happy holiday observation. I was in love from time to time but never spurred to make a trip to the courthouse (despite one out of nowhere proposal to do so after a graduate class in DC one evening).
Of course now God was involved in the picking so my standards changed, we are supposed to compare our future husband to Jesus right? So after spontaneous boy hoped a plane back home across the Atlantic my life centered on school and spirituality. After 2 mission trips the following summer to group homes in east/central Africa, I started to appreciate the joy kids could bring. They brought joy out of me and they filled me up with it everyday. They were nothing less than a blessing God's own children, that He would let me serve them was an honor. But before i get too off track all the time with kids wasent making me any younger. I turned 27 when I was in Congo and was still very, very single. I was also coming to the realization that i was very, very old in African terms to be an unwed white woman. Still my soul was unmoved by the thought of marriage or having my own children with a husband.
About a month after i turned 27, still in Congo, with the oldest eligible bachelor being 20, I got a call from my brother, younger brother who was now engaged to his long term girlfriend. Surprised but overjoyed I congratulated him, of course upon sharing this wonderful news i was always faced with the question "And you?" "When is your time?" the answer was a faithful shrug of the shoulders, only God knows right. He can turn water to wine He can being me a husband wherever and whenever He pleases, but in my gut I wasn't entirely sure He would. A more than fit punishment for the sins I've committed in the romance department, lying, cheating, fighting I was pretty awful to some truly wonderful men. Of course my friends would convince me I was wrong and that surely God was just waiting to unlock this wonderful heart of mine for the right man.
When I got back to the states, it seemed engagement and baby announcements were coming in like tidal waves. by now officially all my HS friends are hitched up and nearly all the college ones too. Even in the family, as of today I am now the only one in my generation (besides one playboy cousin my same age), not engaged or already married. So finally over the last few months, my soul has actually started to warm up to the idea of settling down, and I can honestly say for the first time in my life I want to start my own family, here's the kicker. This "feeling" coincides, as many of you know, with the dramatic start to my dream career working in African development. How dramatic? In March I fly off to 27 months in one of the most remote parts of the world. Where I will likely live in a village hut with no electricity, which is fine b/c there is no prospective boy to Skype with anyways.
Life is funny but it certainly has nothing on God's sense of humor. Since I do feel ready for marriage and a life of purity from now until then I bought myself a ring with Psalm 37:4 inscribed on it, its not a diamond but to me its worth more. Its a symbol of a lifelong battle God's strength in me helped me overcome, its also a symbol of the hope I have for the new desires in my heart. Would I change anything? Sure there's some sins i wish I could take back but they are all a part of my story and like it or not that man God created for me is going to love me no matter what. I'm content in the waiting.
Of course now God was involved in the picking so my standards changed, we are supposed to compare our future husband to Jesus right? So after spontaneous boy hoped a plane back home across the Atlantic my life centered on school and spirituality. After 2 mission trips the following summer to group homes in east/central Africa, I started to appreciate the joy kids could bring. They brought joy out of me and they filled me up with it everyday. They were nothing less than a blessing God's own children, that He would let me serve them was an honor. But before i get too off track all the time with kids wasent making me any younger. I turned 27 when I was in Congo and was still very, very single. I was also coming to the realization that i was very, very old in African terms to be an unwed white woman. Still my soul was unmoved by the thought of marriage or having my own children with a husband.
About a month after i turned 27, still in Congo, with the oldest eligible bachelor being 20, I got a call from my brother, younger brother who was now engaged to his long term girlfriend. Surprised but overjoyed I congratulated him, of course upon sharing this wonderful news i was always faced with the question "And you?" "When is your time?" the answer was a faithful shrug of the shoulders, only God knows right. He can turn water to wine He can being me a husband wherever and whenever He pleases, but in my gut I wasn't entirely sure He would. A more than fit punishment for the sins I've committed in the romance department, lying, cheating, fighting I was pretty awful to some truly wonderful men. Of course my friends would convince me I was wrong and that surely God was just waiting to unlock this wonderful heart of mine for the right man.
When I got back to the states, it seemed engagement and baby announcements were coming in like tidal waves. by now officially all my HS friends are hitched up and nearly all the college ones too. Even in the family, as of today I am now the only one in my generation (besides one playboy cousin my same age), not engaged or already married. So finally over the last few months, my soul has actually started to warm up to the idea of settling down, and I can honestly say for the first time in my life I want to start my own family, here's the kicker. This "feeling" coincides, as many of you know, with the dramatic start to my dream career working in African development. How dramatic? In March I fly off to 27 months in one of the most remote parts of the world. Where I will likely live in a village hut with no electricity, which is fine b/c there is no prospective boy to Skype with anyways.
Life is funny but it certainly has nothing on God's sense of humor. Since I do feel ready for marriage and a life of purity from now until then I bought myself a ring with Psalm 37:4 inscribed on it, its not a diamond but to me its worth more. Its a symbol of a lifelong battle God's strength in me helped me overcome, its also a symbol of the hope I have for the new desires in my heart. Would I change anything? Sure there's some sins i wish I could take back but they are all a part of my story and like it or not that man God created for me is going to love me no matter what. I'm content in the waiting.
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