There's been alot of talk about excuses lately in my world. People wanting to be excused for their outbursts and allowed to break the rules because well they have a logical reason. but it shouldn't matter.
Let me explain a little better what I'm talking about here. many of my friends have had their bosses disrespect them or their partner neglect them and so I've hear them make excuses for the resulting behavior, whether a barrage of insults hurled at a manager or a cheating significant other they all have their reasons, their "hall pass" for behaving inappropriately.
I feel like God has given me words to say to these friends but as I'm talking I turn inward and let the mirror stay facing me. Then on Sunday a pastor preached the message and that is where I am borrowing the term Hall Pass from. I am more guilty than most for this epidemic, I call it this because I feel its rampant in and out of the church we want to justify our bad actions we hate being wrong and even more being held accountable when it clearly was not our fault. I'll use a family member as an example, they had a terrible day at work and on top of it they were sick so when they yelled at some of their coworkers they had a million reasons why they deserved it but then at the end they said "well maybe if I hadn't been sick" I had to laugh. I thought you built such a case against them before your sickness even came into play you had no intention of keeping your composure once you saw that their actions justified you losing it. But here's the trap, it doesn't justify it and we are all kidding ourselves if we think it does and we are kidding others if we expect they truly sympathize with us.
Think about the last time someone someone told you how they "went off" on someone regardless of the reason wouldn't you resist telling them what a fool they sounded like because 1 you might be afraid you would be their next victim and 2 its just not easy to talk to someone about something so emotional they acted a fool in front of others. I should clarify that I am talking about instances in which we show no respect for ourselves or those around us. The basic premise is this: we can only control ourselves and people are going to disrespect us and do all sorts of terrible things to us in this life, my experience tells me that people are more likely to diminish your self worth when you do it first but even if we are a well respected individual somewhere down the line life will throw a not-so-nice person in our path.
So the point is this: (particularly if you are Christian but I urge everyone to try living this way) We should not look for a Hall Pass we should act respectfully to ourselves and others at ALL times particularly when it is difficult to do so, those times when people least deserve our respect because they just carelessly pushed our feelings aside or because your having the worst week of your life at that moment you should be ensuring that your loving those around you more than you do on your best day. Its easy then its easy to respect your husband when they are working 60 hours a week but what about after they've collected unemployment for a year? Its simple to come in work on time and greet your boss when you know they love you and are giving you a promotion but what about when they haven't paid you in 3 weeks and haven't praised you for any work in even longer? I mean can't we all find something to "get us out of jail free" all the time if we really wanted. In my opinion that attitude will only lead us to more situations we need "excused" from.
I know my most recent life lesson is this, no person or circumstance can take away my right to love and respect myself and others. I'm sure i'll have failed at this a dozen or more times before the year is over but I have Jesus' grace so I will continue trying to avoid being a victim of my past or present circumstances. Good luck friends.
Let me explain a little better what I'm talking about here. many of my friends have had their bosses disrespect them or their partner neglect them and so I've hear them make excuses for the resulting behavior, whether a barrage of insults hurled at a manager or a cheating significant other they all have their reasons, their "hall pass" for behaving inappropriately.
I feel like God has given me words to say to these friends but as I'm talking I turn inward and let the mirror stay facing me. Then on Sunday a pastor preached the message and that is where I am borrowing the term Hall Pass from. I am more guilty than most for this epidemic, I call it this because I feel its rampant in and out of the church we want to justify our bad actions we hate being wrong and even more being held accountable when it clearly was not our fault. I'll use a family member as an example, they had a terrible day at work and on top of it they were sick so when they yelled at some of their coworkers they had a million reasons why they deserved it but then at the end they said "well maybe if I hadn't been sick" I had to laugh. I thought you built such a case against them before your sickness even came into play you had no intention of keeping your composure once you saw that their actions justified you losing it. But here's the trap, it doesn't justify it and we are all kidding ourselves if we think it does and we are kidding others if we expect they truly sympathize with us.
Think about the last time someone someone told you how they "went off" on someone regardless of the reason wouldn't you resist telling them what a fool they sounded like because 1 you might be afraid you would be their next victim and 2 its just not easy to talk to someone about something so emotional they acted a fool in front of others. I should clarify that I am talking about instances in which we show no respect for ourselves or those around us. The basic premise is this: we can only control ourselves and people are going to disrespect us and do all sorts of terrible things to us in this life, my experience tells me that people are more likely to diminish your self worth when you do it first but even if we are a well respected individual somewhere down the line life will throw a not-so-nice person in our path.
So the point is this: (particularly if you are Christian but I urge everyone to try living this way) We should not look for a Hall Pass we should act respectfully to ourselves and others at ALL times particularly when it is difficult to do so, those times when people least deserve our respect because they just carelessly pushed our feelings aside or because your having the worst week of your life at that moment you should be ensuring that your loving those around you more than you do on your best day. Its easy then its easy to respect your husband when they are working 60 hours a week but what about after they've collected unemployment for a year? Its simple to come in work on time and greet your boss when you know they love you and are giving you a promotion but what about when they haven't paid you in 3 weeks and haven't praised you for any work in even longer? I mean can't we all find something to "get us out of jail free" all the time if we really wanted. In my opinion that attitude will only lead us to more situations we need "excused" from.
I know my most recent life lesson is this, no person or circumstance can take away my right to love and respect myself and others. I'm sure i'll have failed at this a dozen or more times before the year is over but I have Jesus' grace so I will continue trying to avoid being a victim of my past or present circumstances. Good luck friends.
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